Dear Wife,
1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section
Of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding
The World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the
Conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at
in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about
not receiving any attention.
2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times,
without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote
control, you will lose it (your eye).
3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I
don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without
distracting me.
4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I
Require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind
If you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the
telephone.
5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in
the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on,
and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they
come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the
TV in the afternoon, unless they replay a good game that I missed.
6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my
teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or
"don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will
Only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never
ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of
encouragement" will only lead to a divorce.
7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can
Talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and
Only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I
Am saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy
excuse to "spend time together".
8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I
Have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again.
Many times.
9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child
related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
a) I will not go,
b) I will not go, and
c) I will not go.
10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday
To watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just
As important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying
"but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel
To something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to
Rule #2 of this list".
12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God
The World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words,
Because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish
League, Premier League, FA Cup, etc.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Your Loving Hus,
world cup,soccer,Football,World Cup 2006,world-cup-2006,football world cup
Friday, May 26, 2006
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