Football World Cup 2006 : Husbands Perspective

Dear Wife,




1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section

Of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding

The World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the

Conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at

in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about

not receiving any attention.



2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times,

without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote

control, you will lose it (your eye).



3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I

don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without

distracting me.



4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I

Require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind

If you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the

telephone.



5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in

the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on,

and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they

come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the

TV in the afternoon, unless they replay a good game that I missed.



6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my

teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or

"don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will

Only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never

ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of

encouragement" will only lead to a divorce.



7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can

Talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and

Only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I

Am saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy

excuse to "spend time together".



8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I

Have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again.

Many times.



9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child

related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:

a) I will not go,

b) I will not go, and

c) I will not go.



10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday

To watch a game, we will be there in a flash.



11. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just

As important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying

"but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel

To something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to

Rule #2 of this list".



12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God

The World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words,

Because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish

League, Premier League, FA Cup, etc.



Thank you for your cooperation.

Your Loving Hus,

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