THE BEER PRAYER

THE BEER PRAYER

OUR LAGER, WHICH ART IN BARRELS,
HALLOWED BY THY FAME.
THY WILL BE DRUNK, I WILL BE DRUNK,
AT HOME, AS IT IS IN HEAVEN.
GIVE US THIS DAY OUR FOAMY HEAD,
AND FORGIVE OUR SPILLAGE,
AS WE FORGIVE THOSE WHO SPILL AGAINST US.
AND LEAD US NOT TO INCARCERATION,
BUT DELIVER US FROM HANGOVERS.
FOR THINE IS THE ALE, THE PILSNER, AND THE LAGER,
FOREVER AND EVER.

- AMEN

Sometimes when i reflect back on all the beer I drink, I feel ashamed.
Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery
and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they
might be out of work. Then their hopes and dreams would be shattered.
Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this beer and let
their dreams come true, than to be selfish and worry about my liver."

-- Jack Handy


I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the
morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

--Frank Sinatra


An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time
with his fools.

--Ernest Hemingway


When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

--Henny Youngman


24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence?

--Stephen Wright


When we drink, we get drunk.
When we get drunk, we fall asleep.
When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
When we commit no sin, we go to heaven.
Sooooo, let's all get drunk and go to heaven!

-- Brian O'Rourke


Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

--Benjamin Franklin & V@nil