NEW VIRUS

NEW VIRUS
There is a dangerous virus being passed electronically, orally and by hand. This virus is called Worm-Overload-Recreational-Killer (WORK). If you receive WORK from any of your colleagues, your boss or anyone else via any means DO NOT TOUCH IT. This virus will wipe out your private life completely.
If you should come into contact with WORK put your jacket on and take two good friends to the nearest pub. Purchase the antidote known as Work-Isolator-Neutralizer-Extractor (WINE). Take the antidote repeatedly until WORK has been completely eliminated from your system.
You should share this warning with 5 friends. If you do not have 5 friends, you have already been infected and WORK is controlling your life.
Update: After extensive testing it has been concluded that Best-Equivalent-Extractor-Remedy (BEER) may be substituted for WINE but may require a more generous application.

Wanna search and browse real web pages without a connection

I was googling lazily when I came across this beauty. Let me tell about it

Now you can search the web even if you are offline.Curious!!! Even I was when I came to know about this. Read on.....


How It Works
Webaroo is a free software program and service that lets you search and browse real web pages without a connection. Webaroo's advanced technology makes it simple for you to take the web with you -- and find what you are looking for anywhere, anytime. It's easy -- Webaroo stores searchable web content on your laptop, PDA or smart phone. It's fast -- searches run and pages load instantly at memory speed. It's fresh -- your Webaroo content is updated every time you sync. Get started today.



Webaroo servers scour the web and create "Web Packs".
Download Web Packs and web sites.
Search the content anytime, anywhere, without a connection.
When you re-connect, sync your device to get updated content.

By extracting and caching the best subset of the web, Webaroo makes the web portable. It puts the best of the web content in your pocket and gives you the freedom to use the web offline.
See the list of available Web Packs
Read more about Webaroo technology
System Requirements


Only 5 MB-a few minutes to download
Requires Windows XP SP1+ or Windows 2000 SP4

Source: http://www.webaroo.com/index.html

Earth's Artificial Ring: Project West Ford

"At the height of the Cold War in the late 1950s, all international communications were either sent through undersea cables or bounced off of the natural ionosphere. The United States military was concerned that the Soviets (or other "Hostile Actors") might cut those cables, forcing the unpredictable ionosphere to be the only means of communication with overseas forces. The Space Age had just begun, and the communications satellites we rely on today existed only in the sketches of futurists."

Check more at http://www.damninteresting.com/?p=516

The coolest joke

Ms. Brooks was having trouble with one of her first-grade pupils. "Johnny,what is your problem?" Johnny answered, "I'm too smart for the first Grade. My sister is in third grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the third-grade too!"

Ms. Brooks had had enough, so she took Johnny to the principal's office. The principal agreed that he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.

He started by asking Johnny some simple arithmetic. "What is three times three?" "Nine, Sir." "How much is nine times six?" "Fifty-four."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a third-grade
should know. The principal looked at Ms. Brooks and said, "I think Johnny can go to third grade! He seems smart enough."

Ms. Brooks said to the principal, "Let me ask him some questions?" The
principal and Johnny both agreed. Ms. Brooks asked, "What does a cow have four of that I have only two of? Johnny, after a moment, answered "Legs, Ma'am"

"What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?" "Pockets!"

"OK,what does a dog do that a man steps into?" "Pants."

"What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?" "Coconut."

"What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky?" The
principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Johnny was taking charge. "Bubblegum!"

"What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?" "Shake hands, Ma'am."

"Now for some 'Who am I' sort of questions, OK? First one. You stick your pole inside me, you tie me down to get me up, and I get wet before you do." Johnny, quick as ever, answered, "Tent!"

"OK, a finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you're bored. The best man always has me first." The Principal was looking restless and a bit tense. But Johnny was on the ball with "Wedding Ring!"

"I come in many sizes. When I'm not well, I drip. When you blow me, you
feel good." "Nose."

"Right, I have a stiff shaft, my tip penetrates, and I come with a quiver." "Arrow."

"Good, now for the last one. What word starts with an 'F', ends in K', and means a lot of heat and excitement?" "Firetruck,Ma'am!"

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, "Send him to university, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!"

Special High Intensity Training

NIRVANA MUSINGS

It has been quite some time since I went for a break and I am going on now. Hurray !!!!!

So, folks it will be some time when I post some thing as interesting as my previous posts.Till then enjoy the NIRVANA MUSINGS

Bye for now

Shit Man!!!

Graffiti 1

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here I lie in stinky vapor,

Because some bastard stole the toilet paper,

Shall I lie, or shall I linger,

Or shall I be forced to use my finger.

Before he graduated to be a poet, he wrote this...

Washroom Graffiti 2

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Here I sit

Broken hearted

Tried to shit

But only farted

Some one who had a different experience wrote

Washroom Graffiti 3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You're lucky

You had your chance

I tried to fart,

And shit my pants!

Perhaps it is true that people get inspiration in toilets

Washroom Graffiti 4

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I came here

To shit and stink,

But all I do

Is sit and think.

There are also people who come in for a different purpose

Washroom Graffiti 5

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Some come here to sit and think,

Some come here to shit and stink,

But I come here to scratch my balls,

And read the bullshit on the walls...

Toilets walls are also job advertisement places.......

Washroom Graffiti 6

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

(written high upon the wall)

If you can piss above this line, the Singapore Fire

Department wants

you.

Ministry of environment advertisement

Washroom Graffiti 7

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We aim to please!

You aim too! Please!

Washroom Graffiti 8

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Seen above a urinal:

Please do not throw cigarette butts in our urinal.

We don't piss in your ashtrays!

Washroom Graffiti 9

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

On the inside of a toilet door:

Patrons are requested to remain seated

throughout the entire performance.

Washroom Graffiti 10

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A sign at a swimming pool bathroom:

We don't swim in your toilet, so please don't pee in our

pool

Washroom Graffiti 11

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another sign seen at a swimming pool:

Welcome to our ool.

Notice there's no P in it.

Please keep it that way.

This should teach you a lesson

Washroom Graffiti 12

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Sign seen at a restaurant:

The hands that clean these toilets also make your

food...please aim

properly.

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

Smart boss + smart employee = profit

Smart boss + dumb employee = production

Dumb boss + smart employee = promotion

Dumb boss + dumb employee = overtime

SHOPPING MATH

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband.

A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

HAPPINESS

To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little.

To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

LONGEVITY

Married men live longer than single men do, but married men are a lot more willing to die.

PROPENSITY TO CHANGE

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't.

A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A woman has the last word in any argument.

Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument.

SEND THIS TO A SMART WOMAN WHO NEEDS A LAUGH AND TO THE SMART GUYS YOU KNOW CAN HANDLE IT.....

U , I, CLIENT & BOSS...

what Client is doing







What Offshore and Onsite are doing?






What I and u are doing









what THE BOSS is doing

Bill Gates tastes butterscotch

Adobe Holds Microsoft for Ransom Over PDF

http://www.axcessnews.com/modules/wfsection/article.php?articleid=9858

Driving Licence in Iraq

Remember your first day in the company?

One day while walking down the street a highly successful Human Resources Manager was tragically hit by a bus and she died. Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St.Peter himself.

"Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. "Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough,we've never once had a Human Resources Manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

"No problem, just let me in," said the woman.

"Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend! an eternity in."

"Actually, I think I've made up my mind, I prefer to stay in Heaven", said the woman "Sorry, we have rules..." And with that St. Peter put the executive in an elevator and it went down-down-down to hell.

The doors opened and she found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course.In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow executives that she had worked with and they were well dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her.

They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed ! an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kind of cute) and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. She was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved goodbye as she got on the elevator.

The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates and found St.Peter waiting for her. "Now it's time to spend a day in heaven," he said.

So she spent the next 24hours lounging around on clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had great time and before she knew it her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her.

"So, you've spent a day in hell and you've spent a day in heaven. Now you must choose your eternity," The woman paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this, I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell."

So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again she went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags ! and were picking up the garbage and putting it in sacks. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her.

"I don't understand," stammered the woman, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

The Devil looked at her smiled and told...

" Yesterday we were recruiting you, today you're an Employee. .."*